


We're All Mad Here

by Gimbat_ash



Category: SuG (Band), the GazettE
Genre: Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Crossover, M/M, Mental Institutions, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2018-10-17 01:24:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10583508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gimbat_ash/pseuds/Gimbat_ash
Summary: Reita is the son of a wealthy philanthropist and his father him forces to spend the year 1872 working in a mental institution to ‘build character’. He’s all doom and gloom until a ray of sunshine wrapped in frills and lace lights up his dreary world.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be serious but it makes a swift descent into crackfic territory about halfway through. Just FYI...

I’m so angry at my father! Why do I have to work in his stupid madhouse anyway? This is below me! My name is Reita. My father is a wealthy banker and he has a soft spot for the less fortunate. That’s wonderful and I’m proud to have such a father. All the same, this is his project, not mine. Now that I’m back from university I should be going to parties, looking for a wife. It’s 1872, not the 1700’s, and I’m 23 for heaven’s sake! All of my friends are having the time of their lives and I’m stuck in here looking after crazies. At least it’s only for a few more months.

Ugh! This is so disgusting! This guy, Lenard: I have to bathe him now. He’s one of the really mad ones. If he throws feces at me again I swear I will wring his neck. Ah! Perfect! He didn’t throw any on me. He just smeared it all over himself. Now the trick his not to throw up. Just don’t think about it, Reita. Just get him clean and get out.

Whoa! The door just opened! Oh, it’s just one the nurses. What’s that? She’s going to take over this job? Please do. Apparently there’s a new patient and the doctor thinks I should bring him to his room since we’re the same age and that might make him feel calmer. Calmer? I hope this guy isn’t violent like James. God help me. I fear for my life when I go in his room. Now I need to calm down.

Oh my! Who is she? Maybe she’s the guy’s sister. She could be the loveliest creature I’ve ever seen. I wonder if she’s spoken for. She probably isn’t since she’s still dressed in a shorter child’s dress and stockings instead of a full length dress and her hair is still worn long. She even has a hair ribbon. It’s all quite endearing actually. Now that I get closer she’s really tall, taller than I am anyway. That’s alright. I can’t get over how beautiful she is.

“Oh, there you are Reita.”

“So where is the patient?”

The doctor is looking at me like I’m the madman here. No… Nononononono! Why? Oh no! Make that the loveliest cross dresser I’ve ever seen. No wonder she…he is so tall.

“Reita, I would like you to meet Bruno. Bruno, this is Reita. He will be looking after you.”

Bruno? That’s horrid! He looks nothing like a ‘Bruno’!

“Sir! As I have told you, my name is Uruha!”

Uruha? What a strange name. It suits him though, better than Bruno at any rate.

“Bruno is the name your parents gave you so that is what we shall call you.”

“Well my parents apparently don’t want me so it doesn’t matter what they want to call me, does it?”

Aside from the dress, this man seems pretty sane so far.

“One cannot simply choose a new name!”

“Why not?”

Hey! That’s true now that I think about it. Why not? I’d want a new name too if I looked that pretty and I had such an unrefined sounding name.

“It isn’t sensible.”

“You call him Reita! There is no way his parents gave him that name!”

Wait! Don’t bring me into this!

“How did you get the name Reita?

They are both staring at me. How did I get my nickname? Oh! I remember now!

“My cousin, Aoi, called me Reita when we were babies because he couldn’t pronounce Robert.”

“Aoi?”

I’m being interrogated by a crazy? Can this day get any worse?

“His real name is Oliver but I couldn’t pronounce that either so I called him Aoi.”

“So you can’t choose what you’re called but other people can choose for you? That’s insane!”

He’s calling the doc mad!? If we can just get him to wear a suit this guy would make a great lawyer.

“Reita, take Bruno to room 36 now!”

The doctor is angry now. Though I have to agree with Uruha on this one. How can the doctor call him Bruno without laughing? I can’t, I’m sure.

“Follow me, Ma…”

Oops! I almost called him Madame. It would seem that I wasn’t caught and Uruha’s following. That makes everything perfect in my estimation.

 

Okay, we’re here. Key, key, here it is. I’m really holding the door open for him? Blast! I keep wanting to treat him like a lady. I’m carrying his trunk for him too! I’m shorter than him! I’m going to have to work on this.

“Well Uruha, this is your room. I will bring your meals to you here and I will change your linens once per week.”

“What about tea time?”

I should have known.

“This is a sanitarium. We don’t serve tea.”

“How uncivilized!”

I think I might actually like having Uruha around. He’s really rather witty.

“I suppose it is. You don’t really have a table either.”

I might as well sit down on the bed with him and chat. I’d rather talk to him than Mister Poo-slinger.

“You’re right. I don’t even have a table on which to have tea.”

He looks like he might cry. I guess I might cry too if I was stuck in here for the rest of my life. Still, I don’t want to see him like that.

“Don’t cry, Uruha. I’ll see about getting one for you. You see, most of the other…residents…wouldn’t use a table if they had one. I’ll leave that wardrobe unlocked too. I think you’re capable of dressing yourself. You look very pretty.”

I made him blush. If his chest weren’t so flat I’d wonder if he might really be a lady.

“Thank you Reita. You’re too kind.”

And you’re too adorable. Did I really think that?

“Is there anything else I can get for you? Would you like books?”

“Yes, please. I’d also like some writing materials if you can manage.”

“Of course.”

I have to ask. I’m curious.

“Why do you wear dresses, Uruha?”

“Why do you wear pants?”

This man is far too smart.

“I…don’t know. I guess because I would feel strange wearing a dress.”

“Well, I feel strange wearing pants.”

“But if you would just wear pants then you wouldn’t have to be here.”

“It isn’t as simple as all that. It has been a pleasure talking to you but I really should unpack. Would you try and bring afternoon tea?”

“I’ll try.”

“Thank you.”

Wow… That smile is gorgeous. Wake up, Reita!

“You’re welcome.”

 

Success! I have both a table and afternoon tea! I told Kai, the cook, about Uruha and he’s really excited about cooking for someone that might actually appreciate it. I personally think he cooks too many vegetables. Yuck! Still, I think cucumber sandwiches will make Uruha happy even if I think they’re nasty. The table isn’t fancy but it will work. I can’t wait to see the look on Uruha’s face! Okay. Table down. Unlock door. Open door. Table up. Alright. Here we go.

“Hello Uruha. I have a table and…let me get them…two chairs.”

Aww! He’s smiling. I prefer pretty smiles to flying poo any afternoon.

I hope he likes the food.  
I have no idea what he’s used to getting.

“There you are. Do you need anything else right now?”

“Well, there is only one tea cup.”

“Ha! I’d love to join you but I have things to do.”

He’s giggling. What’s funny?

“I wouldn’t mind if you joined us but don’t you think Annie and Christine need cups too? Oh, how rude of me! Annie, Christine, this is Reita. Reita, these are my friends Annie and Christine. We have been having afternoon tea together for the last 5 years. Isn’t it kind of them to visit me here?”

Ah… So he is a little bit mad after all.

“Uruha, you and me are the only people in the room.”

“Ah, ah, ah Reita. It’s ‘You and I’. You poor dear! You’ve been in here too long. My parents work too hard too and they can’t see Annie and Christine either. Strange isn’t it?”

I’m pretty sure that last bit wasn’t addressed to me.

“Oh, indeed.”

I was right. He’s talking to thin air.

“Christine! Don’t say such things when he’s standing right there!...I couldn’t possibly…We should start on this lovely tea. Thank you, Reita. I’ll see you when you bring dinner?”

“Uh, yes. Enjoy your tea…uh…ladies.”

Ugh! He was right earlier. It’s not just the dress. Then again, I’m staring to wonder if I’m really that sane myself.

~

“Dance in the halls of insanity  
Yet madness is  
Your highest deed  
Your vanity”

\--- Equilibrium by Tristania


	2. Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reita begins to develop deeper feelings for Uruha but what will a change in management at the sanitarium mean for their budding friendship?

Is it wrong that I’m so excited? I feel this way every time I know I’m going to get to see Uruha. He’s been here for about a month and I’d be lying to myself if I thought I wasn’t fond of him. Kai is too. The doctor has been letting Uruha out of his room during the day since he’s completely harmless. He usually sits in a chair in the kitchen, knitting and listening to Kai talk. I try not to go into the kitchen mostly because Kai talks endlessly. He’s nice and all, but he just can’t keep his mouth shut. Uruha doesn’t seem to mind though. I’m not sure if he listens all the time, but he will sometimes carry on a conversation as well so he must be listening sometimes.

I’m beginning to understand some of the reasons Uruha’s family didn’t want him. I don’t mind these qualities but I can understand why someone might. He has this creepy tendency to stare at people and grin this quirky, crooked grin. Once you get used to it, though, he looks pretty funny and he get’s embarrassed and blushes if I call his attention to it.

As I noticed upon meeting him, Uruha will never say what one expects. Even when asked a simple question, he will often give an answer that makes little sense, or even more frustrating, that is glaringly obvious. The one thing he isn’t is boring. I never get tired of spending time with him.

Uruha is in his room right now. I’m bringing him his dinner and some news. I can hear him humming in there. It’s not a tune I recognize. He likes to make up songs as he goes, though his intonation is charmingly horrible. It sounds like some sort of waltz though.

Yes, it’s definitely a waltz and he’s dancing to it. He doesn’t seem to have noticed me. I don’t think I could stop him if I wanted to. He’s mesmerizing. I suppose I wish I could be like that sometimes. He’s stuck in a mental institution but in his mind, he’s dancing at a grand, decadent party. I wonder who he thinks he’s dancing with. I never really thought of that before. Is he dancing with a man or a woman? Which does he expect to marry? Whoever his imaginary partner is, it’s leading. I’m tired of holding this tray. I guess I’ll set in on the table. I can’t believe he hasn’t noticed me! He must be really deep in the fantasy. I wish he was dancing with me. Well, why not? I’m not going to let an imaginary person get in my way.

“Reita! That was so rude!”

He doesn’t mean it. He’s giggling.

“He’s not worthy of you.”

“And you are?”

Ha! It was a man! That could be another reason why Uruha is here.

“Of course. I feed and care for you. What has he ever done for you?”

His smile is too adorable. I rather like dancing with him. I never realized how big his hands are. Still, they’re soft and warm and they feel really nice to hold. I can feel his waist through his dress too. Everything about him is so soft. If Uruha is here for desiring a man, perhaps it’s fitting that I’m here too. I’m in love already. I wish I could marry Uruha but I know that can never be.

As we dance to the music of Uruha's psyche I fight the urge to pull him closer, feel his softness flush against me. I’ve rarely thought such scandalous things even about a woman. I love how I feel around this man, crazy, free.

His humming has stopped. I refuse to let my composure fall. I must continue to play along.

“Thank you for the honor of a lovely dance, Miss Uruha.” I bow and kiss his hand. He blushes as usual. I swear he’s more a lady than any lady I’ve known.

“The pleasure was mine and thank you. I suppose I’ll eat now.”

“Enjoy.” I bow and excuse myself.

Ah! Oh my! The doctor nearly walked into me, or I walked into him, I’m not sure which.

“Reita! There you are. I need to talk to you in my office.”

I nod and follow. He doesn’t seem happy. I wonder what’s up. I hope he didn’t see me dancing with Uruha. That would be bad.

 

I wasn’t caught dancing with Uruha. The doctor is leaving next week. He’s taking a job in the south. Personally, I think everyone in the south is insane. At least he’ll have lots of work. Still, I wish he’d stay. The doctor coming to replace him has a reputation for being really strict. He’s from Connecticut. Who knows? Maybe he will go insane from culture shock. Or he could freeze solid. That would work too! Hehe! There are no warm ocean breezes here in Wisconsin. All humor aside, I still worry.

 

2 Weeks Later

 

I had reason to worry. This new doctor is awful. Yesterday I was taking Uruha to the kitchen and the Doc walked by. He had a fit. Now Uruha is stuck in his room. He’s been very lonely now and I’ve been trying to visit him as often as I can. He reads so much now it’s hard to give him enough books to keep up with his pace. He’s already on his third novel this week. I suppose there’s nothing else for him to do in there. Since his door is constantly locked, surprisingly, he believes that keeps Annie and Christine out. Even if the door were unlocked, he’s not supposed to have tea any more. He gets the same slop twice per day just like the crazies. I slip him what I can. I even give him my food sometimes. I just hate to see him so down.

I’ll be going on a short vacation tomorrow. I hope he’ll be alright. He had a stack of 10 new books. That should keep him busy at least. Though, I really need to find something else for him to do. Reading so much has left him kind of out if it, like his brain is losing touch with the real world. Maybe I’ll get some ideas while I’m in Chicago.

 

1 Week Later

 

I’m back and (I never thought I’d say this) I’m so very glad. The only reason I went to Chicago to begin with is because my father was going to visit some of his business friends and have them meet my older brother, Ruki, who is going to inherit the company some day. Poor guy… Ruki’s the rebellious one out of the two of us. He’s 5 feet and 3 inches tall but his huge personality makes up for what he lacks in height. I think he could actually make a good business man one day though. If he could use his charisma and anti-establishment attitude to stand up for ethics and honesty in the corporate world, he could do a lot of good. I talked to Father and he thinks so too.

Unfortunately, Father’s tacit reason for bringing his sons was to introduce us to Chicago women. He wants us to get married soon. Somehow I don’t think that’s going to happen. Ruki’s really very kind and loyal once you get to know him but if you don’t know him…

He’s always complaining that ladies pass him by because he’s short. I’d be willing to bet that it has more to do with the fact that, whenever he goes to parties, he holes himself up in the corner and scowls at anyone that approaches. I actually make an effort to mingle and I can think of at least five lovely ladies that think he’s attractive but are also terrified of him.

I usually enjoy parties but I couldn’t during this trip. Every lady I saw, I couldn’t help but compare her to Uruha and she would inevitably fall short. All I wanted was to get back here, back to him. No one else can embody perfect paradox as he does. He’s so docile and dainty yet he’s witty and willful. He’s psychopathic sanity. He’s masculine femininity. He’s the one for me.

Oh hey, there’s the doc, still alive I see. Damn! Too bad!

“Welcome back, Reita!”

“Why thank you.” Stupid bastard! “How was everything while I was away?”

“Everything is going quite well. I’ve made some real progress with that cross dresser.”

“You got to meet Uruha? He’s pretty nice isn’t he?”

“Nice? Perhaps you had a little too much champagne in Chicago. That monster gave the nurse a black eye. Imagine…punching a woman…”

Uruha? Violent? I can’t even imagine that. Unless…

“What did you do? Steal his hair ribbons? He’s very defensive of them.”

“As a matter of fact, I did. I took away the ribbons the stockings the dresses, all of it. We shouldn’t encourage him. Bruno is a man. He should dress like it.”

Hehehe! He called Uruha Bruno. Hehehehe! “So he’s wearing pants?” That has too look odd.

“No. The ungrateful wretch thinks the outfit I gave him isn’t good enough for him and refused to wear it. If he won’t wear what he’s given, he won’t wear anything.

I am not hearing this. This is just plain cruelty!

“You can’t let someone go naked in January! You’re supposed to be helping him, not killing him! Is he even still alive?”

Oh God! He’s not answering! I have to see Uruha. Come on you blasted key! Fit! Okay, where is he?

That must be him shivering under the bedcover.

“Uruha?”

“Reita?”

He’s crying. He must be freezing but I don’t know if he’ll let me touch him if he’s naked.

“Are you cold?”

“Yes.”

“Do you mind if I come under there with you so you can warm up?”

“Okay.”

I guess I should take off my shoes.

These beds are really uncomfortable. I guess I’ll just take a peak under the blankets. There he is. His lips are blue! Forget propriety! He seems to have the same thought. He clinging to me now and his skin feel like ice. I thought it would feel strange to feel him like this, so close, so exposed, so…male. It doesn’t though so I suppose I’ll unbutton my shirt to get some fast warmth to his vital organs.

Actually, this feels nice. His chest is so smooth. I wish I could see him but his face is buried in my neck and his hair is in my eyes. I want to touch it. Why not? Oh it softer than I imagined, so thick and fine. Hmm, I still have a hand free. I want to feel his skin. I suppose I should rub some warmth into it anyway. Who am I kidding? I just like the feeling of his skin. It‘s so impossibly silky. He seems to like it though so I’m not about to stop.

I love how smooth his back is. Oh! I’d better not go too far down. How about his sides? He’s so curvy. If ultimate proof of his masculinity wasn’t pressing into me… I think my hand is going to stay on his hip before it takes on a life of its own. I rather like his hips. They’re so soft, all of him soft. I wish we could stay like this forever, hidden from the world. Unfortunately, we can’t so I’ll have to either convince Uruha to wear pants or find another way to keep him warm. I don’t think I can convince the doctor to give the dresses back but I suppose it’s worth a try.

“Uruha?”

“Hmm?”

“You really need to wear the pants. At least you would be warm.”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“How would you feel if someone forced you to wear women’s clothes? Would you do it?”

“I guess not.” He’s good. He knows by now that I don’t like my masculinity threatened. I don’t know what I’m going to do with him. “I suppose you’ll have to keep the blanket around you. How’d you get so cold anyway?”

“By the time I was finished arguing and fighting that doctor and his evil wench I had no heat left for the blanket to hold in.”

“Well you have some heat now. Will you be alright while I draw a hot bath for you?”

“Yes. Thank you, Reita. You’re a good friend.”  
\---  
Sleep my friend and you will see  
That dream is my reality  
They keep me locked up in this cage  
Can't they see it's why my brain says Rage

Sanitarium, leave me be  
Sanitarium, just leave me alone

\--- Welcome Home (Sanitarium) by Metallica


	3. Ignorance is Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are not improving for Uruha. Meanwhile, Reita grapples with this newfound feelings and a starting revelation about his brother, Ruki, and cousin, Aoi.

I don’t know what to do or what to think anymore. All I know is that I despise the doctor. He tried to get Uruha to wear pants a day after taking his dresses away and of course he refused. The doc just had to make it into another fight. He tried to manhandle Uruha into the pants and got kicked in the face. I don’t see why it’s so important that Uruha wear men’s clothes. It’s not like he’s hurting anyone by wearing dresses.

The reason I’m angry though was the doctor’s reaction to Uruha’s protestations. The moment I left that day, he got everyone available to hold Uruha down and he injected him with morphine. He sedated him and put the stupid men’s clothes on him against his will.

He’s been injecting Uruha with morphine ever since. Now Uruha doesn’t do anything. He just lies in bed and stares at the ceiling. Since the doc made most everyone else hate him, Uruha’s care has fallen to me. Normally I’d be thrilled to spend more time with him but this is different. I know he’s in there somewhere but I certainly can’t find him. He doesn’t care about anything. I’m now faced with the beginning of another session with zombie-Uruha. At least I get to go home after this.

I wonder what he’ll be doing when I walk in. Oh! What a surprise! He’s lying in bed, staring at the ceiling as usual. I hate seeing him like this. I tried to talk to my father about how terrible to new doctor is but I’m not sure how well he was listening. Ruki’s really interested though. I’ve been telling him about Uruha from the start. He’s always thought Uruha was marvelous, a true rebel against oppressive bourgeoisie ideals. Last night he said that he was going to wear dresses until the doc gives Uruha’s back. I am going to laugh so hard if Ruki really is wearing a dress when I get home.

“Oh! Come on Uruha! Please try to lift yourself. You’re heavy.”

He doesn’t answer but sits up. This really is ridiculous. Sure he was eccentric before, but now he’s a complete invalid. 

Alright, now to get the food. I’m wondering if I shouldn’t feed him less. He’s already gaining weight from lying around all day. It’s not that it looks bad. I just don’t think I’ll be able to move him after a while.

This isn’t good for me. I really think I’m going insane myself. Watching the spoon slide between those perfect pink lips makes me want to slide something else between them. I’m so glad I’m not Catholic. This would be so awkward to explain in confession. I suppose I’ll keep my sin to myself…if I can.

As I stroke his throat to induce swallowing (he has trouble with that sometimes), I can’t help but enjoy how soft the skin feels beneath my fingertips and sometimes I let my touch stray to his collarbone.

Ah! The stew is gone. I always dread this. Now I have to give him a bath. I’m especially worried now because I got an erection doing this yesterday. I don’t know if Uruha even noticed though. Maybe if I just focus on my task, I can avoid that embarrassing situation again.

I’m opening buttons, nothing interesting whatsoever in that. No more buttons. Now I have to remove the shirt itself. I just pull the fabric back over…pale, pretty shoulders. Damn! I touched him! His skin is so soft. There’s no getting around it is there? Does it even matter? His glassy eyes just stare. They stared before too but before it seemed he could see something, something beautiful and joyous. Now he stares but sees nothing of consequence.

He doesn’t even protest now as I remove his pants, exposing him to my own staring eyes which see many, many things, to my hands eager to touch all of him. He’s perfectly beautiful from head to toe. I just wish the light would return to those lifeless hazel eyes.

“I’m going to help you to the bath, alright?”

“Mmm hmm.”

He can’t quite walk straight when he’s drugged. I know I shouldn’t be doing this but his body is so beautiful. I shouldn’t be looking at him this way, shouldn’t be jealous of the water caressing his skin. I really should get started. I’ll begin with his back. That’s a pretty innocuous place.

Who am I fooling? No where on Uruha’s body is innocuous. Still, it isn’t too bad washing his back. His front isn’t so bad either. A shiver runs down his back when the cloth rubs against his nipples though. I want to rub them with my fingers. They’re so delicate and pink.

The lower half is more of a challenge unfortunately. This is where the trouble began before. Those blasted thighs feel too good under my fingers. The flesh is so soft and gives way beneath my touch. I’m not going to squeeze his thigh.

“Focus, Reita!”

“But you’re Reita.”

He talked!

“I’m just talking to myself.”

“Hehehe. You’re crazy.”

I think the morphine is wearing off a little.

“How are you feeling?”

“I want to wake up.”

“You are awake.”

“No m’not.”

He’s still very drugged. How much did the doc give him?

“I’m going to wash your hair now.”

“That’s nice.”

Maybe there is a God. Uruha talked just at the right time to distract me from the fact that I was touching him quite intimately. I’m just so happy to know that he really is still himself, at least for now.

His eyes are closed. He seems to be enjoying the feeling of my hands in his hair. I have to figure out a way to get him back to normal. Morphine has put people in here. This place is supposed to help people, not hurt them.

It’s a good thing I brought two towels this time. How can there be that much water in someone’s hair?

“Well you’re dry now. Let’s get you dressed.”

He looks so dejected. I can tell he doesn’t want to put those clothes back on but he knows he has no choice. He’s too drugged to fight it.

“I’ll be back in the morning, alright.”

I think that was a nod.

Why did I just do that? Why did I kiss him on the cheek? I’m a man. I’m not supposed to have maternal instincts! I seriously hope that was what caused that little oddity.

“Just get home. I really am talking to myself. I wonder if I am crazy. Why is Uruha always right?”

~~~

I cannot believe it. Ruki actually looks rather adorable in a dress. Now if I can only get up off the floor. Get a hold of yourself, Reita! It’s not that funny… Yes it is. Oh God, Ruki! Stop twirling and primping! I think I’m going to suffocate!!! Ah, okay. I think I’m alright now.

“Where did you get those things?”

“I went shopping, of course. I think Uruha probably makes his clothes because I had a hard time finding them in my size. There is no way he’d find anything like this that would fit him.”

“Don’t sit on the floor! You’ll get your dress dirty.”

“No I won’t.”

“At least put your legs down. I can see your bloomers.”

“Don’t do that, Ruki.”

Father is going to be angry just seeing him in that getup. If he walks in while Ruki’s running into walls with his skirt over his head, he’ll be furious. I’ll have to take matters into my own hands.

“Ah! Reita! Don’t poke my ribs!”

“Why? Because it tickles?”

“No. No! Stop!”

“Are you going to behave?”

“Y-Ye-Yes! Reita?”

“What?”

“How was Uruha today?”

“He called me crazy because I was talking to myself. I guess that’s a good sign. The thing is, I think he might be right. I think I’m really going insane.”

“Why? Because you’re talking to yourself?”

“No, it’s because…I think…I’m in love with him.”

“Finding a man attractive does not make you crazy.”

“Psychology texts say so.”

“Don’t pay attention to those. They’re written by the bourgeoisie to keep us under their oppression.”

I wonder if Ruki knows that we are the bourgeoisie

“What would you know about finding men attractive?”

“I’ll tell you something but if you tell anyone I will kill you.”

“Okay…”

“I’ve had sex with five different men.”

“What!? How can you have sex with a man? There’s no hole.”

“Yes there is. Right…here.”

“Ouch! Why would you want to have someone put his penis there?”

“It hurts at first but eventually it feels really good.”

“So…have you done this with anyone I know?”

“Hahaha! Aoi and I had a little too much wine at that party last Wednesday. It was fun though.”

“You are unbelievable. That’s homosexuality and incest. You’d both be in prison for a really long time if you got caught.”

“But we didn’t get caught.”

“Why did you even tell me this?”

“You and Uruha should do it.”

“No! Absolutely not! Uruha is a proper, respectable lady…man…person.”

“What about you? If he’s half has gorgeous as I think he is, you won’t be able to resist him much longer.”

“No, I don’t even know the fist thing about having sex with a man.”

“Then come on. I’ll show you.”

“Wait, Ruki! Let go of me! I do not want to do this with you.”

“Relax! We’re just going to pay a visit to Aoi. We’ll show you how it’s done.”

This cannot be happening. Why am I even going along with this? This is going to be disturbing. But then what if it’s not disturbing? What if I actually like the sight of my brother with his penis up my cousin’s rear end? This is bad. Oh no! We’re here. Please be out! Please be out! Please…DAMNIT!!!

“Hello, Sirs. Upon whom are you calling?”

“We’d like to see Ao---Oliver.”

Speak for yourself you homosexual maniac!

“Right this w---“

“Rukiiiiiiiii!!! I’ll be right there!”

“Master Oliver! You know very well that your father dislikes you yelling in the house.”

“I know. Oh, Reita! It’s good to see you. It’s been a while.”

“I wanted to show him that game we were playing last Wednesday.”

“Last Wedn--- Oh! That! We’ll be staying outside, Hans. I know how much father hates yelling in the house.”

“Very well.”

“Nice to get rid of him. He still treats me like I’m 10 years old. Wait… Ruki, why are you in a dress?”

“That’s part of why I want to show Reita how to do…what we were doing.”

That’s right, Ruki. Make this sound even stranger than it has to. Then again, maybe Aoi won’t want to do this. Though he does look pretty interested in what Ruki is saying. I bet those idiots planned this from the beginning just so they can be nasty with each other again. Aoi acts mature in public but when he’s at home, he can be even crazier than Ruki. They’re going to do it. I can tell. They’ve already formed an evil conspiracy. I’m leaving.

“Oh, no you don’t.”

“We shouldn’t force Aoi into this.”

I’m desperate here. Don’t make me watch this.

“It’s okay. I want to.”

I had a feeling he’d say that.

“Come on. We need to finish by dark.”

I guess we’re doing this then. I’ll just play along. The sooner this is over, the better. I knew I should never have told Ruki about Uruha. This is ridiculous. I could never defile Uruha like this…could I?

Well at least we’re in a very secluded place. I don’t think anyone would notice us even if we really were playing a noisy game. It looks like an abandoned servants quarters. It’s still awfully cold though.

“So, shall we strip down?”

“I’ll take off my pants, but I want you do keep the dress on.”

“Feeling naughty, Aoi?”

“Always.”

“I’ll have to push it back so Reita can see though.”

“That’s alright. I don’t need to see.”

“Stop being so squeamish.”

How can I not be squeamish? You’re my cousin and your taking your clothes off in front of me so that you can have sex with my brother. This is so wrong. Aoi’s naked! I can’t watch! This is horrid! I can defiantly see Ruki’s bloomers now. They’re right there on the ground.

“Okay! Now watch this Reita.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Watch anyway.”

“Fine. Just get it over with.”

“Alright. Aoi usually likes it from the back but I figured you’d want to look at Uruha’s pretty face while you do this so we’ll do it a different way this time.”

“What do you mean ‘usually’? I thought you only did this because you were drunk.”

“That’s why we did it last time, but we usually do it just for fun. It’s not as though we have to worry about getting pregnant or anything.”

“Why did I have to ask? Just…go on.”

“I was saying…Right! You need to lubricate the other guy or it’ll hurt him really bad. You can use your spit or semen if there’s nothing else.”

“Ruki likes to use jelly and then lick it out afterwards.”

“I didn’t need to know that.”

“Sorry.”

You don’t look sorry. Okay, what is Ruki doing? What is he doing!? He’s sucking on Aoi’s penis! That can’t be legal! Aoi seems to like it though. It probably does feel really good. I wonder if Uruha would li… What am I thinking!? This is… This is very arousing. I never noticed before but Aoi is very handsome. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to just watch.

“Okay Reita, now notice that he’s really close to ejaculation so I’m going to finish him off with my hand. Don’t tell me you don’t know how to do this. I’ve caught you in the act.”

What? I thought I was being discrete! I suppose there is no point in being embarrassed considering…this. I think Aoi is about t… There he goes. Interesting… I’ve never watched someone else do this before. Aoi isn’t very quiet but I guess he doesn’t need to be right now. The look on his face though… I think I’m getting hard from the sight of it.

“I’m going to wipe some of this up and use it to prepare him.”

Yuck! Ruki’s actually touching Aoi’s fluids. That’s disgusting! Of course then he’s going to stick his finger up Aoi’s butt isn’t he?

“You need to start with one finger, especially if the guy’s a virgin, as your blonde beauty probably is.”

That’s right. Uruha probably is a virgin. I never thought if him that way before. He’s just so pure and innocent in every way. I can’t dirty him like this! Why do I want to? Great. Ruki’s pushing his finger in. Ooo! Aoi doesn’t look like he’s enjoying this.

“Now I think he’s ready for a second finger. Once you have two fingers inside, you need to twist them around and stretch him like this.”

“Ruki, Aoi doesn’t look happy.”

“I’ll have to do something about that then.”

Oh! Aoi looks happy now. Really happy… How’d he do that?

“What did you do?”

“There’s this little spot toward the front side of the tunnel thingy and it feels really good if you poke it.”

“Ruki, you sound like an idiot. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Poke it again!”

“Shut up, Aoi. Come here Reita and lube up a finger.”

“You can’t be serious. You’re serious.”

“Come on. You know you’re curious.”

“Fine. Yuck, yuck, yuck yuck, yuck! What am I doing with this?”

“Push your finger in next to mine. No, on this side. Okay, now I’m going to guide your finger to it.”

“Ahhhh! YES!”

“I think I found it. You know this isn’t as strange as I thought it might be.”

“Poke it! Poke it! Ugh! Agh!”

“I think he’s prepared enough. You can pull your finger out now.”

“So you’re going to put your penis in there now?”

“You catch on fast.”

“Then do it already! Ouch!”

“Be patient!”

“But I want you to put it in now.”

“If you keep whining I won’t put it in at all.”

“Fine!”

“Okay Reita. Watch closely. You need to take this slowly despite what Aoi might want. He’s a loose whore so he’s used to this.”

“I am not!”

“As I was saying… Aoi’s loose. Uruha’s delicate backside will need a bit more finesse so you have to push in very slowly but firmly. Are you watching?”

“I’m watching.” 

“You’re trying to torture me aren’t you?”

“Reita, would you be so kind as to get my stocking and tie it around Aoi’s mouth?”

“You’re mean, Ruki!”

“Oh, and use the other one to tie his hands too.”

“No! Reita! Stop! Damn! When did you get so stgrgmph?”

“Thank you. That’s much better. I’m all the way in now. I’m going to start trusting very slowly.”

I’m really hard now. I don’t know why but the fact that Ruki’s wearing a dress really does make it that much more arousing. Aoi really does seem to be enjoying it too. I wonder what he meant when he said Aoi is loose. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that he does this a lot. Does it really make his hole…looser? That must mean that Uruha’s would be very tight. Could I even fit in there? Why am I even thinking this!?

“Alight! He’s used to the thrusting motion so now I’m going to go faster. You said that Uruha’s bigger than you so you probably don’t need to hold back. I…um…I think you get it from this point.”

I can’t see what’s going on under Ruki’s skirt but I have a pretty good idea. This is strange. I’ve never seen Ruki like this. Even in a dress he’s so dominant and masculine. He really isn’t holding back either. He’s just slamming his hips into Aoi. I can’t imagine Uruha being able to take that. Even if he is taller, he so dainty and fragile but then, he’s full of surprises. He certainly doesn’t have a problem talking back when he doesn’t like what’s going on. Still, it looks so violent. Now that I think about it though, from this point, it’s no different from sex with a female. Maybe women aren’t as fragile as we men think they are. Dammit! I’m so hard. I think they’re getting close. There goes Aoi and… Yes. There went Ruki. I wonder what it feels like to have someone release into your body like that.

“Ruki? Are you going to untie Aoi?”

“Oh! Right. I can help you with that if you want.”

“Help me with what?”

“That thing between your legs, unless of course you have a six shooter in there and you want to blow my brains out for soiling your virgin eyes.”

“Oh… It’ll go away eventually. Besides, we’re brothers. We can’t…do that stuff.”

“You shoved your finger up your cousin.”

“You have point.”

“Yes! Free show!”

“Shut up, Aoi!”

I really don’t need his stupidity right now. I can’t believe this is happening. Is Ruki really undoing my pants? Wait a minute!

“Ruki! What are you doing?”

“I want you to know what it feels like.”

“I guess I trust you.”

I know Ruki’s grinning behind me. He’s probably right. If I’m ever do this to someone else, I should probably know what it feels like. How bad can it be? Ruki has small fingers. Okay that feels weird. Oh no! I bet that’s Aoi juice on his fingers. Don’t think about it! Here comes the second finger. This is not comfortable. I’m beginning to see why Aoi was so insistent. This is weird! Alright, he’s poking around.

“Ah! Rgh! That was good.”

Oh god! Do it again, Ruki! It feels so…

“Mh.”

“Imagine making Uruha feel like this. Imagine him writhing and moaning under you, his flawless, milky skin glistening with sweat. Think of how good it would feel to be inside him, pounding into him. Imagine him calling your name as he releases.”

“Ugh!”

Did I really just do that? Well, there is defiantly evidence. Ruki and Aoi are washing up at that pump over there. I suppose I had better do that too.


	4. Reflections of the Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reita reflects upon his new-found knowledge while Uruha has a revelation of his own.

That has to be the craziest day I have ever had. My brain is overflowing with everything I’ve learned. My whole world has been altered. I’ve found out that I can have sex with Uruha. I’ve learned exactly how to do that. I’ve discovered that my brother is a first class homosexual slut. Not only that, I’ve now been made privy to the fact that he has been having sex with our cousin on a regular basis. There there’s the fact that I had a sexual experience with said brother. This is ridiculous! I have to go to sleep and stop thinking about this. Maybe if I just stare at the ceiling long enough I’ll drift off. That’s it. I’ll just stare at the ceiling and before I know it, it will be morning. 

Mmmmmm… It’s cold. I don’t want to get up. Maybe if I just sleep for a few more minutes… Okay, I really should get up. Alright! I’m getting out of bed.   
“Aaah! It’s coooold!”  
Now to get dressed. At least I’ll be warmer then. I wonder how I’ll react to seeing Uruha today. Will I see him as I always have now that I know what I can do with him?   
“Agh! Come on you stupid shoe! On, on, on, on, on! There we go. I’m off to work.”

“Uruha! I have breakfast. Uruha? Uruha what are you doing?”  
“Oh! Um…nothing.”  
“Well, sit up then and let me dress you.”  
“No!”  
“Why not?”  
“Because…um…well…”  
“Were you touching yourself?”  
“No! Of course not!”  
“Then what’s that sticking up there?”  
“Please! Don’t tell the doctor! I know it’s wrong.”  
“I don’t intend to tell anyone.”  
He looks so lost and helpless. I can’t deny that I want to touch him. I really want to.  
“Uruha…um…I could get rid of that for you.”  
“How!?”  
Am I really going to do this? I’ll have to make it quick. Ruki said I can use saliva, didn’t he?  
“Reita! Why are you taking your pants off?”  
“It’s how you’re going to get rid of your erection.”  
I have to cover my fingers in spit and start with one.  
“Dear Lord! What are you doing to yourself!?”  
“It’s fine. Just some preparation so it doesn’t hurt.”  
“So what doesn’t hurt?”  
Alright, second finger.  
“So it doesn’t hurt when you put it in me. Okay, I think I’m ready. Slide it in slowly.”  
“Are you sure we should be doing this?”  
“Just do it, Uruha!”  
I want this so badly. Even if I’m the woman, I still want this. I want him.   
“Ga! Keep going.”  
I should have known that he’d be a lot bigger than Ruki’s fingers.  
“This feels so…Ugh! It feel’s good, Reita.”  
“Now start thrusting. Don’t hold back.”  
“Okay.”  
“Oh! Ah, ah!”  
“Did I hurt you?”  
“No it feels good. Keep going.”  
Damn! He’s strong, stronger than I thought anyway. This feels so much better than Ruki’s fingers. Maybe it’s because I can see Uruha. His face flushes so beautifully across his nose and cheeks. It’s like when he blushes but more vivid. Those little moans he’s making…. Getting close. Oh so close. Yes!  
“Aaaaaaaaaah!”

“Haha! I scared you!”  
“Get off me, Ruki.”  
“You’re awfully hot and sweaty. Maybe I should take these blankets off of you. Ah ha! Just as I suspected! You were dreaming of Uruha.”  
“That’s none of your business.”  
“Sure it is. I want to know what you taste like.”  
“Well I guess you’ll never know.”  
“Come on! Let me at least watch you touch yourself.”  
“You’re attracted to anything on two legs aren’t you?”  
“No! They have to be attractive! It’s not my fault you’re attractive. Please…”  
“Oh fine!”  
“Yay!”  
I just want to get this over with. It shouldn’t…ng… take long. Oh! Evil plot! Just…a little to the…left and lean bauhgah…  
“Ha! Bull’s eye!”  
“Ah! I can’t believe you did that. You could have gotten it in my eyes!”  
“You’d better go wash your face before someone asks what that is.”  
The really bad thing about having a dream like that is that now I have to get up all over again. For heaven’s sake! Isn’t once enough?

I’m more than a little nervous. Sex with Uruha was so good, in my dream anyway. But then he was awfully talkative. In real life he’d never be able to take the lead like that. He probably wouldn’t have been touching himself in the first place even if he had the urge. The best I can’t hope for right now is to avoid getting an erection during breakfast.   
“Uruha! It’s time to wake up.”  
I wonder if he’s in the bathroom.   
“Uruha!!! Oh God! Say it isn’t true! Uruha?”  
There’s so much blood. I hope he didn’t cut his wrists. He smeared blood all over the walls.  
“Uruha? Say something, please!”  
“Go away.”  
“I have to stop the bleeding.”  
It looks like it’s just his hands but the cuts are deep. What can I use for bandages? I’ll have to rip the bed sheets.  
“How can you look at me?”  
“What are you talking about? Why did you do this?”  
“I’m hideous. I don’t want to see me.”  
“So you broke the mirror?”  
“Yes, but I was everywhere.”  
Everywhere? Oh! He must have seen his reflection in the tiles but he couldn’t break them so he covered them up. I don’t even know what to do now. I feel so terrible. All this time I’ve been being so silly, thinking of frivolous things while Uruha is suffering. How could I be so selfish? I guess I keep thinking of him as the bright, vivacious person I originally met. To me he’s still beautiful but now that I look, I think I know why he may think otherwise. His hair is dry and unkempt and there are dark circles under his eyes. There is no longer any blush to his cheeks. The backs of his hands are rough and flaking as are his lips. The clothes given to him are starting to fit oddly as inactivity changes this physique. He’s the very picture of misery. I don’t know what I can do for him but hold him close and cry with him.   
“For what it’s worth, you look beautiful to me.”  
“You’re crazy.”

 

As the sky is clearing  
You clear your mind  
Hide all mirrors not to see  
What the morphine couldn't hide

Shattered faces on the floor  
Your broken mask serves you no more  
\--- Shattered by Delain


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reita finally gives in to temptation and makes a mistake that will haunt him for years to come.

This is becoming too much. After Uruha’s…episode the doctor increased his morphine dosage. This guy is completely incompetent. I did research and Uruha’s behavior was probably from morphine withdrawal. That means that he’s an addict now. Not only that, he’s practically a vegetable. It’s been just about my entire job to care for him because he can’t do anything for himself any more. He can’t even walk and he can barely sit up so I have to haul him around. He doesn’t talk any more either. He just stares and sometimes makes incoherent noises as though he’s trying to say something but can’t form the right sounds. That’s the only way I know he understands when I speak to him, that he’s still in there somewhere, that, and his crying.   
I don’t know if I can handle walking into his room one more time and see the tears running down his lily-pale cheeks. I don’t know if I can live with myself if I get another erection all the same. I wonder if he’s noticed it when he lies against me while I feed him. My God! Half the time he can’t even swallow without help. Why do I still find him so attractive? Why is his still so beautiful to me? It doesn’t matter now I suppose.   
Today is my last day here. After today I’m free! I’ve already made plans with Aoi to go to Europe together. Our boat leaves the day after tomorrow. It’s going to be so fun! Tora, Saga and Nao are already in Amsterdam so we’ll meet them there and then travel all over. It’ll be just us with no one telling us what to do. I wish Ruki could come but he has to stay and learn about business and things like that. I’ll miss him. I wonder how long he’ll be wearing those dresses.  
I never thought of it that way. I’ll never get to see Uruha again, at least not as he was when we met. I wish he could come with us to Europe. We could go to London and Paris and he could go shopping for the prettiest dresses and the finest satin hair ribbons. I know the others would like him too. How could anyone not like Uruha? I miss him already. I’ve been missing him. I wonder how things would be different if he wasn’t drugged all this time. We could have had so many dances and tea parties. I loved dancing with him.  
I really have to stop procrastinating. I have to go in there, see him one last time. I just have to open the door and walk in.  
He’s crying again. I hate to see him cry. It doesn’t suit him. Ah, it just had to be bath day, didn’t it? Just one more Uruha-induced erection and I’m free. That’s it.  
“Don’t cry, Uruha. I’m here now. Let’s dry those tears.”  
Oh! I don’t think I’ve done that before. His skin still feels no nice. I want so badly to kiss him. I’ll never see him again. One kiss on the forehead couldn’t hurt. He’s so warm and his scent is intoxicating. He still smells like he did all those months ago. Mmm, it’s not as soft as it was but his hair is still the softest I’ve ever felt.   
Soft hair, soft cheeks beneath my lips. Such a delicate chin… Lip… His lips against mine… I’ve never felt anything more perfect. I want a taste. Exquisite… And his lips grow softer, plumper, with every stroke of my tongue across them. He tastes so good. I want more. That’s it, let me in.   
“Mmh.”  
Uru, I’m not sure what you’re trying to do with your tongue but it’s nice. I want to feel you. I never really looked at you during baths, never savored the feel of your skin. Why must these buttons be so difficult? You taste good but your neck is so smooth. Ah, the skin is so delicate I’d be afraid to bite it lest it break. But now there is your chest to distract me. So beautiful… I’ve never seen such an expanse of pale skin. Then there are his nipples. They’re so small and delicate like rose buds painted on his skin. I just want to feel them…with my lips. Yes…so soft, so delicate. And look at his tummy. It looks soft too. It is beyond soft. The way the flesh yields beneath my touch is nothing short of heavenly. Just forget…forget everything. I want all of him and now.   
“Let me get rid of these pants for you. I know how much you hate them. I’ll just slide them down your…wow…legs.”  
I didn’t know it was possible to have legs this nice. They’re so pale and smooth and full. They feel nice to squeeze too. I can’t help it. Running my hands up and down his gorgeous legs is so addictive. But then, they are not my ultimate goal. My goal is between them, just below his penis and testicles. Okay, now I can’t stop staring. How can he be so perfect? His balls are perfectly round, the perfect size…and perfectly smooth to the touch. I wonder what it would be like to have his penis inside me in real life. It’s about the length I thought it might be though it’s thinner. Right now, I want to be inside him so I’ll spread those pretty thighs. From what I can tell, his butt’s plump too. I wish I had more time with him to explore everything.   
I have to spit on my fingers and put them in him. He’s going to need stretching for sure. My penis isn’t exactly small either. I wonder if I’ll get some movement out of him when I start poking around inside of him. Well nothing so far. It’s only one finger though. Twist it around. He feels different from Aoi. I can’t quite place how, but being inside Uruha feels different. Now that I have two fingers in, I want to find that spot. If anything will bring a response from him, it would be that. Lets see… It’s around here somewhere. Where is it? I guess everyone is different in there. I wonder if…ah! There it is! I defiantly found it. Uruha gasped and flinched a little. Hmm, I’ll add a third finger and do it again. I’ll hit it harder this time.   
“Mmph.”  
Interesting… All this time he’s been intentionally raising the tone of his voice trying to sound more like a woman. That, just then, didn’t sound at all like a woman. That was all man and I really think I like it. Let’s get a move on shall we? Yes, this feels better, to lay over him like this, feel his body flush against mine. I can see his face this way.   
“Aw, sweetheart, it’ll feel good soon. No need to scrunch your pretty nose like that.” It’s terribly cute though. Now I have to kiss him there too, and then I’ll kiss his cheek again while I’m at it.   
He’s so unbelievably tight. It’s almost painful. He’s certainly a virgin, pure, untouched by any before me. I love the way my fingers sink into the flesh of his hips as I grip them. His body feels so solid. Ruki was right. I don’t have to hold back. He can take whatever I give him.  
“Ugh!”  
I must have hi…hit his spot again. So good. So tight. Oh God, he’s warm. He smells so good. Why does he just stare like that? He’s looking right at me, straight into my eyes. His eyes are pretty. They’re not big, but they’re deep, shimmering. I could drown in them. So close! Isn’t he? Doesn’t he feel good? He’s whimpering. This isn’t right. But…  
“Mmmgh.”  
That was amazing, releasing deep inside of him. He hasn’t released yet though. I should do something but I don’t want to pull out of him. I’ll never be inside of him again. I suppose I should. Actually, he’s barely hard. This really isn’t right. He’s supposed to be happy. It’s supposed to feel good to him too but he just stared the whole time. I wonder if he could respond if he wanted to. Wait…  
“Oh God! Oh God! I… I… Oh my God!”  
I raped him. I raped Uruha. I just forced myself on him when he obviously couldn’t refuse. I have to get rid of the evidence. I was here to bate him. I’ll just wash away my fluids and no one will ever know. Okay, I have to get the bath ready. I can’t panic. Hell, I’m panicking. I could get sent to jail for this. What was I thinking? I can’t go having sex with patients no matter how pretty they may be.   
Now I have to get him to the tub. He’s crying. I made him cry. I feel like a worm. I wish I could take that morphine instead of Uruha. He’s a beautiful, incredible person. I’m a monster that raped a helpless man, a betrayer. My personality should be obliterated, not Uruha’s. I feel sick washing my own semen off of him. He’s clean now though. I’ll dry him off now, put his clothes back on. I’ve seen more of him. I have to hold him all the same. I don’t want to let go of him yet.   
“Why did it have to end this way? Why did I have to hurt you like this? I love you.”  
“Oooo. Ah…Iiiiii…AGH!”  
He’s crying even harder now. It’s like he’s just given up. He probably wants me to leave but he’s just slumped against me. I’ve probably drained what little energy he had to spare. I’m leaving. I won’t trouble him any more.  
“Goodbye, Uruha.”  
Great! I’m crying now. I’m really glad I’m leaving the country. I have to get away from all of this, from him. I care too much for him. I have to forget him. Maybe I’ll meet someone really great in Europe. Yes. That’s what will happen. I’ll meet some beautiful French woman and forget about Uruha. Who knows? I could meet a man too seeing as my preferences have…broadened. I’ve heard that Finnish men can be very handsome. I don’t know. I just have to leave behind everything I am. Poor Uruha… What will happen to him? I suppose that’s none of my concern anymore. He’s the past. My future is elsewhere.

I'm the moon and the seventh dreamer  
you're the hewn and a lost redeemer  
Heavenworks for a welkin at dusk  
you're a frail outcast

"Recall the fragments of a broken life  
just like a shattered soul divine  
You are the treason-reflecting eyes  
You are the darkness that sets in every light"  
\--- On the Wane by Sirenia


	6. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reita returns from Europe without a wife. He feels he needs to see Uruha just one more time to get over him. Their reunion doesn't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From this point, none of any of this was supposed to happen. It was supposed to end tragically and be all dramatic, but this is my writing. Of course, it has to turn into complete crack.

~1876~  
Europe was fun. That’s about all I have to say about that. Okay, really it was like a four year long guys’ night. It really was fun. According to letters Ruki sent, he was wearing dresses for two months before father did anything for Uruha. The old man really is oblivious sometimes. What ended up convincing him to act was when Ruki showed up to an important business meeting and all his colleagues were appalled at the sight. I wish I could have seen their faces. Ruki said that he chose an especially frilly one and a huge pink, lacy hair-bow. I’m sure he looked adorable.  
So Uruha is off the morphine and has his dresses back. That’s all I know. I’m supposed to be returning home to find a wife since I was unsuccessful in finding one in Europe. I did, however, have a drunken one-night stand with a really good-looking Spanish guy. At least I think he was good-looking. I had a lot of wine that night. I didn’t find any women of interest though. I don’t know if I’ll find one here either. I just know I have to see Uruha one last time before I go back to Europe. I’ve been asked to join the board of a company in Milan.  
For some reason I feel like I have to see Uruha one last time in his full beauty before I can really forget him. I was largely successful at not thinking about him while I was away. Some nights, though, I dream of him. The dreams are never the same. Sometimes they’re nightmares filled will blood and tears and accusations. Sometimes they are passionate and heated. More often than not, however, I’m just with him doing something normal. In my favorite dream, we were in a park, sitting on the grass. I was leaning against a big tree and he was settled between my legs, leaning against me. He was reading to me and I just sat there, holding him, letting the sound of his voice wash over me. Sometimes the breeze would ruffle his hair and the soft, blonde strands would caress my face.  
I can see it now. There’s my home! I can’t wait to get back. There’s Ruki running out to greet me. Haha, he’s in a suit again of course. I’d gotten used to the dresses.  
“Reita! You’re back!”  
“Ow! Let me at least get out of the carriage, Ruki. You haven’t grown an inch since I left.”  
“Say that again and I won’t help you with your luggage. Come on Rei. You can tell me. Why haven’t you found a wife yet?”  
“It’s late. Just let me go to bed.”  
“You don’t look tired. You’re still unpacking. Is there anything for me in any of these bags?”  
“Don’t look in there!”  
“Oh… So I wouldn’t find this? Who might this lovely dress be for?”  
On the first try, he finds that. I swear Ruki has to be Satan.  
“Okay. You win. I was hoping to see Uruha. How is he by the way?”  
“I didn’t tell you? He got moved to a different facility years ago.”  
“What!? Where?”  
“New Mexico Territory. I took him there myself. I can see why you fancy him. He’s really beautiful and witty. He has a nice pair of legs too.”  
“Ruki… If you molested him I swear I’ll…”  
“Relax. His nightgown rode up during the night and I happened to see a few things. I didn’t touch. I really, really wanted to but I didn’t.”  
“So if you took him to this place, you could tell me how to get there?”  
“Yeah, if you really want to go all the way out there. Why do you want to see him so badly anyway? I thought you were supposed to be looking for a wife.”  
“That’s just it. I need to forget him. I think if I just see him alive and well maybe I’ll stop thinking about him.”  
“I doubt that. Though if you want, I could help you forget him a little bit right now.”  
“Stop touching my crotch, Ruki.”  
“Please. I’ve been so deprived!”  
“Go to bed!”  
“You’re no fun.” 

I can’t believe I’m in New Mexico Territory. Why did they send him all the way out here? It takes so long just to get here. I really do worry about the fact that Uruha was alone with Ruki for that long. How could Ruki not molest him? I molested him and I’m not half as sex-crazed as Ruki. I hope his directions were right. I’m really out in the middle of nowhere. Oh no! I hope the stagecoach doesn’t get attacked by bandits! I hear it happens all the time. Great, another thing to worry about.  
If I even make it to the town alive, what if Uruha rejects me? Oh no! What if he calls me out as a rapist and I end up in jail out here. Then I’ll be in a cell with the killer bandits. Why did I come out here? I…am going…to die!!!  
“Las Arañas, dead ahead!”  
Thank all that is good and holy! That’s my stop! I wonder what the name of the town means. When I was in Spain I learned more about Spanish wine than Spanish language. Ruki said the institution shouldn’t be hard to find. Apparently it’s run by nuns. Oh no! I hope Uruha didn’t decide to be a nun! Wait… He’s a man. I really need to calm down. Everything is going to be fine. Here we are at the town now. It seems like a nice enough place. People are milling around, going about their business.  
“Whew! Finally here!”  
“Here’s your luggage, Sir.”  
“Thank you. Do you know when the next stage coach comes through here?”  
“This is a big stop-off point between Santa Fe and Albuquerque so I’d say…day after tomorrow but you should check at the post office to be sure.”  
“Thanks again.”  
Now I have to find the church. I think that’s the steeple over there. Yes, that’s it.  
“Huh? I could have sworn I saw something move. Probably just a cat.”  
I wonder what I’m supposed to do once I get to the church. I suppose I’ll just walk in and ask for directions. Wow… Can I act any more like an easterner? I really can’t imagine Uruha living in a place like this. It’s so…rugged. Well, here’s the church. At least I can get out of the sun.  
It’s dark in here, but it’s cool so I guess I shouldn’t complain. Aha! A nun!  
“Excuse me, sister. I’m here to visit one of the residents at the mental facility here. Could you give me directions?”  
“I’ll walk you there. It’s not often the residents here get visitors. Who are you here to see?”  
“Uruha.” I hope he goes by that name here.  
“Oh… Why do you silly boys always come to pester her? Just because she’s the prettiest girl in town doesn’t give you the right to bother her!”  
Her? They think Uruha’s a lady. Wow, Ruki! He really did something smart for once. That means Uruha has been able to act like himself. But how to see him…  
“Please, sister. I’ve come all the way from Wisconsin to see hi…ugh…her. Please… Don’t send me away.”  
She doesn’t seem quite as angry. This is good.  
“Who should I say is calling on her?”  
“Reita.”  
Well… That seemed to make a difference.  
“So Reita really does exist!”  
That was not the response I was expecting.  
“She’s mentioned me?”  
“Mentioned!? She has refused every suitor that’s offered himself because she believes that someone named Reita will come and marry her. Only a few of the sisters here know that that’s the reason she refuses to marry.”  
“Really? Uruha has been waiting for me all this time?”  
“Apparently… Oh! She’s such a lovely young lady. I’m so happy for her.”  
There it was again. Something moved. I wonder if the heat is getting to me.  
“You may sit here. I’ll finder her and send her in.”  
“Thank you.”  
What now? Uruha loves me? This is not going as planned. I though we’d have tea, I’d apologize for raping him, and that would be it. Does he really love me or was he just using me as an excuse? It’s not like he can actually marry one of these people. I think his husband would notice a few things on their honeymoon. I really hope he doesn’t hate me. Somehow I think he’d be really scary if he got mad. I mean… it took something like five people and a shot of morphine just to get him to wear pants. He can be really violent if he wants to. There was that movement again but there really is nothing there. I wonder if I shou…  
“Don’t move!”  
Shit! I’m dead. Heeeee’s holdingabigstick! It’s a reallyreallyreally big stick.”  
“There you are you beast! I’ve been looking for you!”  
OH SHIT!!! It’s over.  
“Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!”  
I hear the stick coming down over and over but I don’t feel anything. The first blow must have knocked out my senses. This is it. This is death.

“Reita… You can uncurl yourself now. I killed it.”  
What? I’m alive? What’s dead? Oh… That’s dead.  
“What is that thing?”  
“It’s a tarantula spider. Didn’t you think it’s odd that this town’s name means ‘the spiders’? They’re all over the place and they’re poisonous too. I saved your life.”  
“Thanks. This is an interesting reunion. So… you’re not angry at me?”  
“For what?”  
“What do you mean ‘For what’? I raped you.”  
“Oh! That! I really tried to tell you that I love you too but my mouth just wouldn’t work. I really wanted to say so many things. I wanted to tell not to leave me but I couldn’t and it made me so angry and frustrated.”  
“Is that what you were trying to say? That you love me?”  
“Yes. Please don’t leave me again. I’ve missed you so much.”

Ever felt away with me  
Just once that all I need  
Entwined in finding you one day

Ever felt away without me  
My love, it lies so deep  
Ever dream of me

\--- Ever Dream by Nightwish


	7. An Unexpected Turn of Events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't go as Reita planned. Things don't go as the author planned either, though that might not be a bad thing.

“Please don’t leave me again. I’ve missed you so much.”  
I don’t know what to say. I have to stop staring at him so dumbly. He’s just confessed his love. He’s waiting for an answer. I just… I came here with the exact intention of leaving him again. Do I still love him? Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with him?   
“Reita? You aren’t going to leave again are you?”  
He looks so crushed. I can’t tell him I love him because I feel sorry for him though. It wouldn’t be fair to him if I said something like that without meaning it. So the question remains: Do I love Uruha? Why did I really come here? I’ve known the answer to those questions all along but simply did not want to admit them to myself.   
“Uruha, the reason I returned to America is because I need to find a wife and when I do I have to leave. Oh no! Don’t cry! I haven’t finished.”  
“What’s to finish? You’re such tease! You came all the way out here and listened to me tell you that I love you when all along you knew you were going to leave and marry some…some woman!”  
“No, I came all the way here and listened to you tell me you love me when all along I intended to take you back to Milan and marry you.”  
I think it’s safe to say he’s flabbergasted.  
“You… I… Milan!?”  
“Yes, Milan. It’s a city in Italy.”  
“I know where Milan is! Oh my Lord! What will I wear?”  
“Are you accepting my proposal then?”  
“Wha… Your pr… Yes! Of course I do! Oh Reita, I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy…but really I can’t go to Italy in a plain cotton dress like this.”  
He’s too funny. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy either. This is perfect. The nuns think he’s a woman, my father’s never actually seen him, and Ruki will never snitch. In fact, I think Ruki will be thrilled. Uruha is actually looking a bit panicky. I can practically see the gears turning in his head as he thinks about his wardrobe. I suppose I should put him out of his misery.  
“Uruha.”  
“Ah! Sorry. I was thinking.”  
“I noticed. I have a present for you.”  
“Really?”  
“Really. I saw it in Paris and I thought of you right away.”  
There’s that smile! I never realized how much I missed it and now I’ll get to see it every day for the rest of my life.  
“Here it is.”  
“Oh Reita… It’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen, blue silk, high quality lace. Hehe… It’s a grown up lady’s dress.”  
“Well you’re what? 21 years old now. It’s about time you wore grown-up clothes. Besides, you’re going to be Mrs. Robert Millet.”  
“Oh my… You’re right! I’m going to be a Misses, your misses. Does that mean I get to nag you like a proper wife?”  
“You already nag. But I love you anyway.”   
“It’s a pity our wedding night won’t be our first time.”  
“Uruha, I am…”  
“Don’t interrupt! As I was saying, it’s a pity, but there is a bright side. Since we’ve already made a mess of things, I suppose it wouldn’t matter if we messed them up a little more.”  
“What are you suggesting?”  
“I’m suggesting…”  
Wow… He’s definitely looking suggestive and he’s coming closer…and closer.   
“…that the two of us…”  
He’s setting the dress aside.  
“…right this moment…”  
This is too fast! He’s right up against me!  
“…mess things up a little more.”  
He can’t be serious.  
“I want to be able to reciprocate this time.”  
He’s serious. He’s undoing my pants. Who am I to resist? He’s more beautiful than ever and, much like Ruki, I’ve been very deprived.  
“Let me do that, darling. You work on your bloomers.”  
He seems to be satisfied with this plan. This is so dirty, two men having sex in a convent. I have a feeling that life with Uruha will be far from boring.   
“So Reita, do you want this or am I going to have to shove it down your throat.”  
Interesting choice of words.  
“Oh, don’t worry. I want you.”  
“Then take me.”  
I don’t need to be told twice. He’s so willing. He put up no resistance when I slipped my fingers into his mouth. How did he know what to do?  
“Uruha?”  
“Hm?”  
“Have you been reading dirty novels?”  
“Mmm hmm.”  
He seems almost proud of it. It would seem that life out here has made him a bit rougher. He’s still lovely though, very lovely. Well, I think I can start stretching him now.   
“Are you ready?”  
“I’ve been ready.”  
He feels just the same inside. This is so right. I don’t know why I resisted for so long. I want to touch that spot, see how reacts now.   
“Ugh, yes!”  
Holy…  
“Shhhh! They’ll hear you!”  
“Do it again. Do it again.”  
Well, I’ll try it with two fingers then.  
“Awgh!!!”  
Who knew he’d be so loud? I’ll just have to gag him then.   
“What are you doing with my stocking? No! I’ll be good! I mghmr…hmph!”  
“I’m sorry but you’re really loud and you sound distinctly like a man.”  
He nodded. I take it he understands.   
“I’m going to put it in now.”  
Another nod.   
“Hhhhhha. You alright?”  
Whoa! How did he flip me onto my back like that? I don’t really care with the way he’s moving up and down. It feels so good and I can still see him, hear him moaning through the gag. If I push my hips up at the right angle I might just be able to hit that spot. Success! I’m so glad I put that gag on him or the whole place would come running. This is so good.   
“Mmmmm.”  
Squeeze those thighs. Feel the muscles moving in them. Run my hands up them under his dress. Let my fingers sink into soft hips. Slam them down on me. That’s right Uru. Take me deep. Harder. Deeper.   
“Oh… Ah… Uruha. I’m close.”  
I can tell he’s smiling. Speeding up. He’s releasing. His muscles…clenching. He’s still…trying to make…me release too. Must hurt.   
“Aaaah!!!”  
“Shhhh! Reita! What were you just telling me?”  
Good. He took the gag off himself. I don’t want to move. It feels so nice to lie here, still inside of him.   
“Mary, Mother of God! What are you two doing!?”  
It’s a nun. Oh God! I know it’s a nun. My penis is up the butt of a man in a dress, there’s a dead spider-beast next to me, and now there’s a nun. What did I ever do to deserve this? Uruha! Help!  
“Well sister…”  
Go on Uruha. Say something brilliant!  
“We are…um…sinning a very, very bad sin and we’re going to need a bit of privacy to get dressed again.”  
“So…under your dress…right now…he’s…”  
“Yes. He’s inside of me so we have to get dressed. We’re engaged though. It’s not quite as sinful then right?”  
That wasn’t brilliant, Uruha! That was the truth!  
“You’ll need to get dressed and cleaned up and then you need to go to confession and then you must get married now. If you get pregnant, you’ll be a disgrace. I must go get Father Robinson!”  
Wait a second! Confession?  
“But I’m not Catholic!!!”   
“Haha… Reita. Calm down. Everything’s fine. She didn’t find out I’m a man and we’re going to get married today. I suggest we do as she says and get ready for the wedding. Ugh. It’s a good thing you brought such a lovely dress for me.”  
He’s up and about but I can’t help but lay here with Reita Jr. hanging out. What the hell just happened? Within the space of an hour I thought I was going to say goodbye to Uruha for good, then I thought I’d be killed by him, then I had sex with him and now I’m going to marry him. My brain hurts.   
“Come on Reita. Get up, sweetie.”  
“Ah!!! Put me down, Uruha!!!”  
That could be the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done and it was totally useless. If the only way I can be forgiven and not go to Hell is to tell this priest guy every dirty thought I ever had, then I’m going to Hell anyway. It’s not as though I’m ever going to tell him about the whole homosexuality thing. Considering that the wedding is still on, I take it Uruha kept that little detail to himself as well. At least we’ll burn together in the afterlife. I’m honestly surprised I’m not in that afterlife already. There were moments I could have sworn I was going to drop dead of pure humiliation. I could also swear that that priest is totally sick-minded. He wanted way too many details for my liking. At first I just right out admitted that I had lusted after Uruha for a while and that this was not the first sexual encounter we had had. Then he asked if Uruha had nice thighs and I said that yes, they were very nice. Then he asked me to elaborate and I asked why. He changed the subject. That bastard has eyes for my dear, sweet Uruha! No wonder the nuns are defensive of him. If the priest wants him, I bet the entire town is clamoring to get at him. I hope they don’t send a posse after me or something when they find out I’m marrying him. I wonder what the priestly pervert asked Uruha. If he hadn’t already gone before me I would never have let him go at all. Still, Uruha looked quite irate and embarrassed after coming out of that confession booth. I have a feeling the father, priest, person was trying to get out of me what Uruha refused to say. Haha! Tough luck! Uru and I are an infallible team! That stupid git can cry all he wants when he performs the marriage service but Uruha’s still mine!  
“Reita?”  
“Ah! Oh, it’s you.”  
“Of course, you crazy. It’s time to do our paper work.”  
“Oh, okay.”  
“Well, let’s go.”  
This is it. This is the first time the town will see us together. Pleeeeease no posse! Well, so far so good.  
“Rei?”  
“Where’s the posse!?”  
“What!? What are you talking about?”  
“I’m worried that if the other guys that want you see us together, they’ll send a posse after me.”  
“Hmmmm, I don’t think so. The only posses I’ve ever seen are assembled by the sheriff to go after SuG.”  
“SuG?”  
“They’re a group of bandits that have shown up within the last three years. They’ve been robbing banks and stagecoaches from here to Santa Fe.”  
Great! There really are bandits out here.  
“Takeru probably sleeps on a bed of gold by now.”  
“Takeru?”  
“He’s the leader. I’ve seen him once. He’s actually really cute. He’s even shorter than Ruki. He’s kind of creepy though. He always has this huge smile on his face even when he shoots people. He might come after you actually.”  
“So I take it when you saw him, he saw you too.”  
“More than that. He took me hostage when he came to rob our bank. He said I was pretty and that he was going to take me along with the gold so he and his four henchmen could have free sex whenever they wanted. As you can imagine, I was not about to stand for that so I did what any sensible young lady would have done in my place.”  
“And that would be…”  
“At the soonest convenient moment, I gave him a nice hard kick between the legs. Then I stole his gun and took him hostage and told the rest of his gang that if they didn’t put the gold back, I’d blow little Takeru’s brains to kingdom come.”  
“And they believed you?”  
“No. I shot one of the other guys, Shouta I think, to prove I meant business. They have a new guy now, Chiyu. The sheriff and his deputies came and put them all in jail. Unfortunately, they broke out and I had to eat bread and water for two months and do a thousand Hail Marys as penance for killing someone.”  
“Wow! I’m impressed. You actually shot a bandit. You, Uruha, are my knight in shining armor.”   
Smile!!! Yay! Every time he smiles I feel like I’ve won something.  
“I’ll be your knight if you want but I really do prefer to wear dresses. I thought we’d been through this.”  
I know I’m grinning like an idiot but then so is he. Could it be that my life is really going to go right?  
“Well here we are! Let’s make this official.”  
“AAAHHHH!!!!! Uruha! Save me!”  
“Reita! Get off of me! What is the matter?”  
“Tralalata! Tutankhamen! Spider!!!”

I can’t believe we’re pulling this off. I’m actually standing at the altar, already legally married to Uruha. We’ve really gotten away with a homosexual marriage. I also can’t believe that Ruki entered Uruha’s legal name as Beatrice. It defiantly suits him though, especially better than Bruno. Poor guy… Even I would never want that name. So legally, Uruha is now Mrs. Beatrice Elizabeth Millet.   
“Excuse me.”  
“Yes?”  
What do you want, Father Pervalot?   
“Before we start the ceremony, how do you pronounce your last name?”  
“Why the hell does everyone have such a hard time with that? It’s pronounced, ‘Milay’. It really isn’t that hard.”  
“Ruki? How did you get here?”  
“I’m magical!”  
“Seriously…”  
“I left before you did. I‘ve been here the whole time. I figured you’d need a best man.”  
“How did you know?”  
“How could I not know? You have obviously been in love with Uruha ever since you two met.”  
“Well get over here. The ceremony’s about to start.”  
Everything really is perfect now. I get to have my two favorite people in the whole world beside me on my wedding day.  
“Rei?”  
“Where are the bandits!?”  
“What? No Reita. Here.”  
It’s our mother’s wedding band.   
“But Ruki, this is supposed to go to your wife. You’re the oldest.”  
“Yeah, but you need it right now and I think it’ll fit Uruha perfectly.”  
“Thank you.”  
Ruki really did expect me to get married if he brought that. I really do hope Ruki finds someone wonderful to marry. Even if he’s quirky, underneath it all, he’s a great person. Oh! The music’s starting. The church is really packed. It would seem that Uruha is well-loved. Practically the whole town showed up.   
I think I’m going to faint. Oh Uruha! He looks stunning. The dress I chose was simple and conservative but I think I made the right choice. It fits him perfectly. It looks like he found himself a corset too. Smart. It covers up what he lacks in the chest but even if it didn’t, I think every eye would be on his waist and hips anyway. He’s a curvy guy to begin with but the corset makes his figure look almost unreal. I hope he can breathe in there. All the same, for now at least, I take back the knight analogy. He looks like nothing other than a princess (but if a spider-beast shows up, I want the knight back in a hurry).  
He’s absolutely glowing and I know I am too. I can’t believe I ever fooled myself into believing I don’t love this man. I just…  
“Robert William Millet…”  
“Bandits!? Where!?”  
Oh no… He was asking me if I want to marry Uruha. I think Uruha can breath just fine in that corset if all his laughter is any indication. Everyone is laughing. Great job, Reita. Aaaaand Uruha’s down.   
“I’m alright….just…” He has the giggles for sure. “I can’t believe you said that.” I suppose I should help my bride to his feet.  
“Ah… Thank you. Okay…”  
“May we continue?”  
“Yes.”  
“Robert William Millet, do you take Beatrice Elizabeth Von Sternberg as your lawfully wedded wife?”  
“I do.”  
Oh my… I never heard his full name before: Bruno Von Sternberg. It sounds like the name of a really muscular guy who will beat you to a pulp. Well…Uruha is a really pretty guy that will beat you to a pulp.   
“I now pronounce you man and wife.”  
Whoa! That was fast. Uruha knows I was spacing out. He has that grin on his face. Well… Time to go. Everyone is already lining up outside the church. I hope he knows where we’re going after this. The next stagecoach out of here doesn’t leave for quite a while. Ah! Rice hurts when you throw it at people! Who ever stated that stupid tradition?   
“Whew! We’re finally free of the rice storm.”  
“Where are we going?”  
“We’ll be staying at the hotel until we can leave town.”  
“You arranged all of this?”  
“No, actually I did.”  
“Hello Ruki! I haven’t seen you since you brought me here.”  
“Did you miss me?”  
“Hehe, not really.”  
“You two really are the perfect couple… the perfect meany couple. I’d be willing to forgive you if you’d agree to let me in on some of the honeymoon action.”  
“No way! Reita’s mine now!”  
“What if Reita wants to…?”  
“I don’t.”  
“Oh fine. My room is right next to yours anyway. I guess it’ll be my right hand again.”  
“Oh my! My virgin ears!”  
“Uruha, you’re hilarious. I love you.”  
“I love you too. Now go get our room key.”  
“Ah! Don’t poke me!”  
“Why shouldn’t I poke you?”  
“Because it tickl…”  
Oh shit! He knows! All is loooooost!!!!

“Come on, Reita! One more time!”   
“Uruha, we’ve been having sex for 7 hours straight. I’m tired.”   
“Then let me be on top this time.”  
I can’t deny the thought turns me on. Sometime during the night Uruha abandoned all efforts to seem feminine. The voice he speaks with now his low and smooth and there is no dress covering his body any more. He looks, sounds, smells masculine. I’ve been pounding into him mercilessly for the a fore-mentioned 7 hours. I suppose I could let him be on top now.   
“Alright, have at it.”  
That smirk was almost devilish. What exactly have I gotten myself into? He’s coating his fingers with my fluids that are leaking out if him. He’s so filled now that there’s been no need for extra lubrication recently. Now it’s all running down his thighs. I have to relax. His finger is at my entrance.   
“Ah! It stings.”  
“I know but I’ll make it better, don’t you worry.”  
He’s intentionally missing that spot. A second finger is going in and it still hurts. Oh that was abrupt!   
“Are you alright? I’m only doing this how I do it to myself. I don’t know what you like.”  
He does this to himself!? I have to see that sometime.   
“A little gentler would be…preferable.”  
“I should have known. You like to go straight to the heart of the matter. I won’t keep you waiting then.”  
“Ah! Rgh! Oh yeah…”  
He really knows what he’s doing. His other hand is going to stroke me. I hope I last.  
“Ugh!!! Gah…ah! Uruha!”  
When…? He’s in me. He’s thrusting into me. He’s stroking me. He’s…He’s really thick.  
“Aaagh Rei…taaaa. Mmmmmm! You’re really tight. So good!”  
“Uruha! I… I’m not going to last.”  
“That’s okay. Hu…Ah… Neither am I.”  
I can feel it. I’m close.   
“So close. Uruha! Harder!”  
“Nh, uh!”  
“Uru…I…Ragh!!!  
“Uh… Uh! Ugh!!!”  
That was… To feel… I’ve never felt someone release into me like that.   
“That was amazing, Uruha.”  
“Mmmm… I think I’m tired now too.”  
A knock? Who’s at the door.  
“Get the door, Reita.”  
“I can’t. You’re on top of me.”  
“Well I’m not moving so you’ll just have to figure something out.”  
“Who’s there!?”  
“It’s Ruki!”  
“Door’s open.”

“I just thought you… Wow! Well, well… You two have been very busy.”  
“What do you want Ruki?”  
“I have food. I expect you need it. I didn’t know it was possible to produce this much semen.”  
“Well I would love to eat if Uruha would get off of me.”  
“Nope… Still not moving.”  
“Wait a second. Is this Uruha’s penis I see in Reita’s hole?”  
“Reita let me top this time. Fine! I’ll get up.”  
“I didn’t say anything.”  
“Do you two know what would make this breakfast even better?”  
“Hot cinnamon rolls?”  
“Good thought, Uru but not what I had in mind. It would be even better if we ate it off each other.”  
“No!”  
“Oh come on! I listened to you two go at it all night.”  
“Well…”  
“No, Uruha! Don’t even give him an inch.”  
“Why noooooot? You two have had all night.”  
I cannot believe I’m saying this but…  
“Alright, Ruki. You can join us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. There is even more smut in the final chapter.


	8. The Final Showdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The grande finale. 6 pages of smut, single spaced. At last, SuG crashes our mad tea party. Poor Takeru has no idea what he's getting himself into (or whom, hehehe).

“So I get to use you as a plate, Ruki?”  
“Sure Uru. Go right on ahead. No complaints th… Hey! What are you doing!?”  
Oh my god! This is priceless! I wish we could photograph this so I could treasure this sight for all time.   
“You said I could eat off of you.”  
Look what you’ve done now, Ruki. You made him pout. If he cries, you’re dead meat.  
“Yes but…Uruha I… A pancake on my head was not what I had in mind. Ah! No Uru! Not the silverwear!”  
“This isn’t working Ruki. I’m getting hair along with my pancake. Hmm, maybe syrup would help.”  
“No no no no no!!!”  
“What did you have in mind then?”   
“Well, you’re supposed to eat off of somewhere more intimate.”  
“Oooooh! I get it! Hehe! It’s like pig-in-a-blanket!”  
“Pig-in… What!? No! Put the pancake down. My penis is not a sausage.”  
This is hilarious! Maybe having Ruki join us wasn’t such a bad idea after all.   
“Stop laughing, Reita! It’s not funny. He was going to bite my penis!”  
“I know. That’s what makes it funny.”   
“I don’t understaaaaand…”  
“Don’t worry, Uruha. I’ll show you what I meant. Sit back and spread your legs a little.”  
“Alright.”  
“See? Liquids work better, like this oatmeal.”  
“Oh! I suppose that makes more sense. Mmmm, and that feels nice.”  
“I haven’t even started licking you yet.”  
“It’s warm.”  
“You are too cute and I have waited too long to get my mouth on these delicious thighs.”   
Wow! I had no idea oatmeal could be so arousing. Still, watching Ruki’s tongue lick it off Uruha’s soft flesh is making a certain bit of my own flesh not so soft. Great… there’s no way Uruha will miss that little fact either now that he’s laying on his back. His head is resting in my lap. He’s so pretty. I can’t believe he’s all mine. Well, and Ruki’s sometimes apparently. I really need to get my brother married, the sooner the better.   
Why are you pulling me down, Uruha?  
“Here have some.”  
“You’re sharing. How generous, Ruki”  
“Hardly. I just got here and I want you to have energy to keep going. I’m getting off at least twice before I leave this room.”  
I should have known. I’m not going to argue. I’m hungry and the taste of Uruha’s skin is addictive. He licking me too, just tasting me. His breath tickles. Judging from the little sounds he’s making, he likes this, me licking his chest. I love how he shivers when I pass over a nipple. This is so strange. Lust and hunger course through me, sharing the same blood flow. Sensation streams both to my stomach and my groin.   
Ah! Food’s all gone and Uruha’s getting up. Double disappointment.   
“Hey Reita!”  
“Hm?”  
“Let’s get Ruki!!!”  
“Good plan.”  
“What!? ‘Get Ruki’ how? What are you guys doing? Ack! Uruha, not on my face!”  
Haha. I think that quieted him down. I know from recent experience that having Uruha lap at one’s face is strangely calming. He’s gentle, almost kittenish about it. Yes, Ruki’s relaxing. His stomach looks like a nice plate at the moment.   
Ha! I surprised him. The movement of his stomach from that tiny gasp made some of the oatmeal run into his belly button. I’m not so sure I want to go there. Then again, Ruki’s a pretty clean person so it can’t be that bad. While Ruki is nice in his own way, I think I prefer Uruha. Ruki’s not as soft and he tastes different. I want to hold his hips but there isn’t much to grip. It’s frustrating. Alright. I’m going there. That was a nice shiver and, as a bonus, I didn’t come across any lint.   
“Reita.”  
“What, Uru?”  
“We finished all the oatmeal.”  
“Wow. That went fast.”   
“Awww! No more ‘get Ruki’?”  
“No. No more ‘get Ruki’.”  
“You two are freaky. Did you have some sort of bonding experience while I was away?”  
“What? What are you talking about?”  
“I did nothing that would offend my ladylike sensibilities if that’s what you mean.”  
“Never mind. Get Uruha!”  
“What!? No! You ‘Got Ururha’ already!”  
“One can never have too much Uruha, right Ruki?”  
“That’s right little brother.”  
“You’re the oldest, Ruki?”  
“Yes, didn’t you know?”  
“No. I thought Reita was older. He acts older anyway.”  
“I’m taking that as a compliment. Now lay down on your stomach.”  
“Of course, it’s a complement. I would never speak badly of my husband. WHAT…IS THAT!!!”  
“Calm down little brother # 2. It’s only syrup.”  
“Oh Lord. You are my brother now aren’t you? The amount of homosexual incest being committed here is ridiculous. I’m so glad I don’t have to go to confession any more.”  
“I second that! Once was more than enough. Are you having fun there, Ruki?”  
“Mmm! Syrup plus Uruha equals yummy.”  
“Let me try.”  
This is very strange, and yet, very exciting, lapping at the syrup on Uruha’s smooth back, occasionally brushing against Ruki’s tongue, getting a taste of him. I think Ruki’s beginning to touch my tongue intentionally now. As much as I hate to admit it, I like it. Unfortunately, this new feeling will soon be no more. The stickiness on Uruha’s back is almost gone. I wonder why he isn’t being as vocal as he norma…  
This is pleasant. Kissing Ruki is very enjoyable actually. I just can’t let him stay in control. Just give up, damn it! That’s it Ruki. I knew you’d let go after a while. He feels so small in my arms after a night of holding Uruha. This is so wrong but it feels way too good to stop. Apparently Ruki has other ideas. He’s checking on Uruha who…has eaten all of the bacon and by the looks of it, he’s eaten more than his share of the pancakes as well.   
“Were you planning on leaving any for the rest of us?”  
“What? Oh! The bacon is gone!”  
“How do you not realize when you eat a whole plate of bacon?”  
“I usually eat this much.”  
“Wow! It’s a good thing you’re rich, Reita.”  
“I guess so. Where does it go?”  
“I’ve been doing a lot of work to help the sisters out, cleaning, gardening. It takes a lot of energy.”  
“Haha! That means that I can tell everyone my brother’s married to a fat lady.”  
“I beg your pardon!”  
“You shouldn’t have said that, Ruki. Uruha kills spider-beasts.”  
“I just figure that if he eats like that in Italy, he’s going to get fat. Where’s it going to go there?”  
“Shopping, dancing, croquet, horseback riding… Fun things. Oh Reita! Can we go cow-tipping in Italy?”  
“What is that? OH! Thankdhsud.”  
“That’s it keep feeding him, Uruha. I’ll just sit and watch.”  
“Well, watch quietly. I was about to explain cow-tipping. When there’s enough grass, the cattle will graze. Then I go up to a grazing cow and tip it over. Then I run away in case any of the others get angry and then watch, from a safe distance as one I tipped over tries to get up. It’s really funny.”  
I swear, living out here has made Uruha even more…interesting. I have to say, I could get used to him feeding me like this. I especially like when he gets syrup on his fingers. He’s gotten the drill by now. He slips the syrupy finger into my mouth and I make sure to suck on it and lick it in an especially sensual manner with the sole intention of arousing Ruki.   
“Oops! I missed your mouth a bit.”  
He did that intentionally. By the way the corners of his lips creep upward I can tell he’s plotting.   
“Let me help you with that.”  
This is good. His tongue feels so smooth licking the syrup straying toward my chin. The sensitive skin beneath my lower lip veritably tingles with the sensation. Oh now he’s moved on to simply suck on my bottom lip. All of a sudden, the only thing I hunger for is his sweet mouth.   
He’s not objecting. He never does. I’m sure many men yearn for such a perfectly yielding mate. He just lets my tongue caress his, explore his mouth as it pleases, reciprocating but never taking over. I want to touch his hair and use it to bring him even closer, drink of him more deeply. There… He almost always moans when his hair is pulled.   
He wants to be closer to me. Those long, graceful arms wind around me. I want to be closer to him too and I know I’m literally clinging to him. I simply can’t get enough of his pleasures.   
This is too much! He’s begun to grind his hips into mine and his breath puffs against my neck. I feel as though I’m on fire yet still I want him closer.  
“Reita. I want you inside of me. I want you to ravage me. Make me scream.”  
“I could help, you know.”  
I can’t believe I forgot about Ruki. His voice is low and husky and his eyes are dark with lust. I want this. I want to dirty myself beyond redemption.   
“I’m fine with that if Uruha is.”  
I don’t think I’ve ever seen that look on Uruha’s face before. He doesn’t look the slightest bit angelic now. As his tongue darts out to wet his lips he looks like the very incarnation of sin. I know he’s about to speak to Ruki yet his smoldering gaze is fixed on me.   
“Fill me.”  
I can’t stop myself. I have to do this, plunge deep into Uruha’s body. Ha… Ruki practically leapt onto us. I feel so at home inside Uruha now. The slickness I feel, my own semen still inside him, only spurs me on and adds to the debauchery of this act.   
I thought it couldn’t feel dirtier. I was wrong. I can’t help but be distinctly aware that this is my brother’s member pushing in beside mine.   
“Hhh! Hhh! UGH!!! Move!”  
I’m not about to hesitate. Ruki hasn’t either. Perfect synchronization. Right into Uru’s sweet spot. Don’t know which of us hit it.   
“Ah! Mmmgh! That’s right! Give it to me hard!”  
Ruki’s leaning forward. Uru’s pressed between us. A kiss. Not expected but welcome. The kisses are sloppy. We’re both thrusting into Uruha. This is so wrong, kissing Ruki. That’s what makes it right. Ruki’s hand against my stomach? He’s touching Uruha. Uruha’s completely out of it. He’s a squirming mass of moans. Good thinking, Ruki. I’ll remember that. What? He’s licking Uruha’s neck now. Ruki’s ear looks inviting. Bite. He likes that!   
“Mmmmh!”  
That feels good. Why is Uruha biting my neck? Why do I like it? Playing rough are we?  
“Oh!”  
“Awgh!”  
“AAAH! Reita, Uruha! Again.”  
“Yes! Harder!”  
Well then…  
“Reita…Ru…I…Ugh.”  
Uruha came hard that time.   
“Reita, should…”  
“Keep going Ruki. He likes it.”  
Release. I need it now. Ruki’s close too. Just a bit longer.   
“Uh…huh…”  
Strange feeling. Still more. I need more. Deeper.   
“Yes…rugh…ugh!”  
God, that was good.   
“That felt strange, Ruki.”  
“What felt strange?”  
“Both of us releasing into the same space.”  
“Yeah, that was strange. I can still feel your cum on me. What did you do earlier? That thing that felt really good?”  
“Oh that! I pressed Your penis into Uru’s pleasure spot so when he clenched in reaction, you were squeezed between me and him.”  
“I’ll have to remember that.”  
“You do this often?”  
“Well sometimes after parties, Aoi and I…”  
“Never mind. I don’t want to know. It’d be nice if you two could get off of me.”  
“I’m too tired. Make Ruki move.”  
“I don’t want to move either. It’s nice inside Uruha.”  
“You can have your fun with Aoi when you get home. Now get off.”  
“But Uruha feels nicer. Don’t tell Aoi I said that though.”  
“If you don’t get off I’ll tell Aoi that and I might even make up a few things.”  
“Alright, alright. By the way Uruha, how did you take both of us so easily?”  
“Well, um…”  
“Uruha?”  
Now that I think about it, Ruki’s right. I know I shouldn’t mistrust Uruha but I can’t help worrying now. At least they’ve both gotten off so I can breathe properly.   
“I…I…It’s embarrassing. You’d think I’m…peculiar.”  
“I met you in an insane asylum and I don’t think you’re crazy. Besides, I’ve just had sexual relations with my brother. Is it stranger than that?”  
“Okay. I’ll tell you. I…um…You see, I was reading this novel and the guy did this thing to the woman and she really liked it and I thought I’d try it on myself and…I really liked it.”  
“Well, what is it?”  
“Shut up Ruki and let him talk.”  
“I…I like to shove my whole hand inside myself. That’s it. I know I’m weird.”  
“Oh my god! Really!?”  
“Yes. Why is that so exciting?”  
“I’ve been trying to get someone to let me do that to them for ever. Will you let me do it!? Please!?”  
Why is Uruha looking at me? Can’t he make up his own mind? Oh right. I’m his husband.   
“It’s up to you, Uruha. I expect you’re pretty raw by now so if you don’t want to, it’s fine.”  
“How is he not bleeding? You two have been at it all night.”  
“There are other ways to get pleasure besides intercourse. You should know that.”  
“Oh my. You two are a lot of fun. We should have a foursome with Aoi before you two leave for Italy.”  
“We’ll think about it.”  
“So are you going to stick your hand up me or not?”  
How does he have this much stamina? I think I’ll just stay down and watch. I’m exhausted.   
“Yes, Sir! Spread those lovely legs and I’ll get right to it.”  
I can’t believe how innocent Uruha looks even how. The way he giggled behind his hand was so demure and yet at the same time he’s spreading his legs like a common whore for his brother-in-law to thrust a hand into him. I really do love my Uruha though, with all of my heart. It’s still so hard for my to wrap my mind around the fact that he’ll always be with me, after all these years of separation.   
“That’s it. Keep going slowly.”  
Ruki’s really doing it. He has all of his fingers in. I suppose this is nothing for Uruha. His own hands are so big, especially compared with Ruki’s.   
“Mh. Yes.”  
Uruha’s leaning back on his elbows now. His head is thrown back and his eyes are closed. His face twitches every now and then as Ruki’s fingers move inside him. It’s mesmerizing to watch Ruki’s hand disappear bit by bit into Uruha’s body. I want to do this too sometime. It looks incredibly intimate. What must it feel like to have my entire hand enveloped in Uruha’s warmth? Uru’s gasp was so arousing. Ruki’s all the way in and both men are breathing heavily.   
“You can close it into a fist now if you like.”  
Uruha’s voice is so deep and ragged. I don’t know if I’ll be able to see him the same way when he puts his dress back on.   
“Ah..uh…AAAH!!! YES!”  
Ruki only moved the slightest bit but I suppose that’s all that’s needed when one is filled so completely. Uruha’s member is hard and weeping yet again. I want it. I’m going to taste him.  
“Hmm. Rei. That’s nice. Mmmugh! Ruki! Right there.”  
I love Uruha’s flavor. I thought I might not but it’s almost calming to suck on him like this.   
“Mmph.” That’s a bit harsh. He has quite a grip on my hair. Ah! I can’t panic. I have to relax my throat. He sure is insistent.   
“I’m…Reita… Oh…mmm…Ugh…UH…AAAH!!!”  
Swallow. Mmm. Pure Uruha.   
Now I’m hard. Ruki’s hard. I can see the wheels turning in Ruki’s devious little brain.   
“Reitaaaa…”  
“What?”  
“Reitaaa…”  
“What!?”  
“You know you want me.”  
_______________

“But I don’t want to go to the fair, Mr. Monkey.”  
“Uruha, wake up or I’ll have to hurt you?”  
“No monkey bite! Oh, it’s just you Reita.”  
“Yes, honey dearest. I’ve packed your things. Now get dressed. We have to catch the stagecoach.”  
“But I never wear those stockings with that dress!”  
“Just put them on. We’re going to be late.”  
“Alright, if you insist. Where’s Ruki?  
“He’s already taking our luggage to the coach. “  
“Oh! We really have to get going!”  
At least he got the point. He really can be clueless sometimes. If he weren’t so cute about it he’d probably have driven me crazy by now. Even though he just said we need to hurry, he doesn’t seem to be moving any faster. I hope Ruki will hold that stagecoach for us. Oh, come on!  
“Your hair doesn’t have to look perfect. It’ll get messed up again anyway.”  
“But Reita…”  
“No, Uruha! We’re leaving.”  
It’s a good thing he isn’t trying that hard to put up a fight. I know full well that I can’t make my lovely wife go anywhere he doesn’t want to go.  
“So the happy couple is checking out. The other guests will be very pleased. To be honest Mister, you’re really loud.”  
Me? I wasn’t loud. That was… Oh. They heard a man and naturally assumed it was me. Great.  
“I told him he should quite down but he wouldn’t listen. It is very rude to be so noisy, dear.”  
Why that little… I see right through that innocent smile. My cheeks must look like tomatoes right now.   
“Come along, dear. We don’t want to miss the stagecoach.”  
“Hey you two, hurry up.”  
“Good morning, Ruki! It’s such a lovely day, isn’t it?”  
“Lovely? It’s sweltering!”  
“Actually, we’ve been having a cold spell this week.”  
That’s it. We have to get out of here. What idiot decided this would be a good place to live? It’s a God-forsaken wasteland!  
“Well then, let’s get into this thing so we can get out of here.”  
It’s a little cramped on here but not bad. I’m tired and Uruha’s lap is looking like a very inviting pillow right now.   
“Uruha, I was thinking of buying a title. What do you think?”  
“I don’t know what you mean.”  
“In Italy we could be nobility. We’d be a Count and Countess.”  
“Really!? That would be incredible! It’s too bad we can’t have an heir.”  
“We’ll figure something out my poor, barren Countess Uruha. Right now I’m tired.”  
“Well then, sleep well…Count Reita.”  
Hopefully I can sleep through most of the journey. Mmm… Sleep. Sleep is good.

“Reita! Reita, wake up this instant!”  
“Wha… Bandits! Where?”  
“Approaching from the south.”  
Fabulous! There really are bandits this time.  
“What do you see out there, Ruki?”  
When did Ruki get a pistol and a cowboy hat? Well, he looks really sharp and, more importantly, he’s armed.   
“There are five of them. They’re defiantly not subtle. Where did they even get those clothes? Most of them are dressed in bright pink and something shiny. They look more like saloon entertainers. Maybe they’re not bandits after all.”  
“No they’re defiantly bandits. I’d recognize that get up anywhere.”  
“Oh shit! Takeru’s coming to get me!”  
“Don’t be ridiculous, Reita. They’re coming to get our money.”  
“Oh. Well, that’s comforting.”  
I’m really trying not to panic but Uruha looks worried and things have to pretty bad to get him concerned. Seriously, what are we going to do? There’s no way we can hold them all off. Ruki may have a gun but I have my doubts about whether he actually knows how to use it. How the hell are we going to get out of this?  
“Don’t worry. I’m going to blow their heads off.”  
“Ruki, have you ever shot a gun?”  
“No, but how hard can it be? Look, I can see them really well. I’m going to pick off this Takeru guy right now.”  
That’s right, Ruki. Bangbangbangbang! I’m sure their terrified. Now if you could just hit them…  
“Damn! I’m out of bullets.”  
“Why am I not surprised?”  
“Shut up, Uruha! Shit! They’re shooting at us!”  
“Well what did you expect?”  
“I thought I told you to shut up.”  
“I only obey my husband.”  
We’re huddled on the floor trying not to be shot and they’re arguing about nothing. How can they be so nonchalant? I’m not going to lie to myself. I’m terrified.  
“Alright, everybody! Come out with your hands up! I don’t want to have to kill you!”  
“It’s frightening how peppy he sounds.”  
“You’ve got that right. Wait, Uruha! Let me go first.”  
So much for obeying me, he’s already out.   
“Well, well. There are three of you. Good. All the more to plunder.   
“You won’t be plundering anything, you lawless ruffians!”   
What are you doing, Uru? Do you want to get killed!?  
“Haven’t I seen you before? Oh, yes! How could I forget such a pretty face? It’s funny that we met again. Hehehe! I guess you would have been better off killing me after all.”  
His grin hasn’t budged. This is seriously creepy.   
“I may kill you yet.”  
“I don’t think so, doll face.”  
“He might not kill you but I will.”  
Holy… Ruki shot Takeru! It’s too bad he only hit his arm.   
“Why, you bastard!”  
Smile’s gone…  
“No! Ruki!”  
Oh my God! They knocked Ruki out. At least I hope he’s only knocked out.   
“Now I’ll take what’s mine.”  
Aaaand the smile’s back. Damn it! Where is the driver? He’s probably cowering somewhere. I swear, if we live through this, I am not paying him for this mess of a trip.   
“Fine, take our money if that’s what makes you happy.”  
“You are a dumb blonde, aren’t you?”  
“You’re blonde too, stupid.”  
“I’m taking you, not the money. You’re mine now and I’ll teach you to respect me.”  
He hit Uruha! I’m going to kill him!!!  
“He attacked the boss! Get him!”  
Shit! Shit! Shit! What have I done? We’re winning…sort of. Two down. Three against two.  
“Watch out, Reita!”  
Wha…   
~~~  
Where am I? Why is the ground shaking? Moving maybe? Oh no! Uruha! I have to open my eyes. Okay, I see… I see Takeru and he doesn’t look happy at all.  
“Fuck.”  
“Reita! Watch you language!”   
“Uruha! You’re… We’re in the stagecoach. Why is he here?”  
“He’s our hostage. It’s lucky they didn’t bring enough ammunition.”  
“Otherwise I’d have killed you all.”   
“Oh, you don’t mean that honeykins!”  
“Ruki! You’re okay!”  
“What? You didn’t see me? Do you have tunnel vision or something?”  
“A little. So I assume you intend to molest Takeru.”  
“No! Well yes but first I’m going to put him in one of my dresses and tell father I’ve found a wife. He’s perfect! He’s even shorter than me. We’re going to have so much fun together, aren’t we Takeru darling!”  
“Drop dead.”  
“Isn’t he cute?”  
“Why can’t I marry Uruha instead? At least she’s a woman.”  
“Actually, I’m a man too.”  
Haha! That’s right, Uru. Play that man-voice card.  
“You’re insane. I don’t want to live with crazy people.”  
“Oh, you can’t help that. We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”  
“How do you know I’m mad, Uruha?”   
“You must be mad or you wouldn’t have come with us.”  
“But you would have killed me if I hadn’t.”  
“Irrelevant! You’re mad.”  
“I am not mad!”   
“Well, if you’re not mad now, you will be. It’s okay though. Ruki and Reita’s father owns a loony bin. That’s how I met my lovely husband. I was a patient.”  
“Why does that not surprise me?”  
I don’t know why I ever doubt Uruha. He’s perfectly capable of taking care of both of us. I’m so lucky to have him. From here on out, I trust him with my life. How can I not? I can’t wait to whisk him off to Italy. I suppose it doesn’t matter where we are because Uruha is my whole world.   
Se in uomo fragile  
Nuove risposte tardano ad affiorare  
Invisibili distante  
E' inevitabile  
Inevitabile risveglio

(If in a weak man  
new answers are long to appear  
Invisible, distant  
it's inevitable  
inevitable awakening)

Here I am  
I'm giving myself to you  
Without fear  
\--- Without Fear by Lacuna Coil


End file.
